Soujiro goes to Walmart
by Karina Kineshi
Summary: This is a piece of idiocy that falls under the spamfic category.


I was deprived of sleep and needed to think of something else other than Sanosuke x Megumi fics. C&C is always appreciated, even on spamfics such as these ^_^ Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: If I owned these characters, I wouldn't be a poor girl anymore. Wal-mart is not mine either, nor do I make claim on the smiley face. Did you know that the person who invented the smiley face made a total of 15 dollars and 13 cents on it? Bit o' trivia there… 

**Soujiro goes to Wal-mart**  
By: Karina Kineshi 

"Again, I'm so sorry, Himura-san. You really didn't have to worry about me. I don't mean to be bogging you down." 

Battousai raised his hand and waved with a cheerful smile. "No, I wouldn't want you to be stuck in this car all by yourself. Trust me, it was no problem at all." 

Soujiro smiled and looked around the store, "So this is…Wal-Mart?" 

"Welcome to Wal-mart!" An elderly man in a blue vest affixed a sticker to Kenshin's shoulder, evoking a dazed 'Oro?'. "If there's anything I can do to help you, don't hesitate to ask!" 

"What is this?" Soujiro pointed at the yellow circle on his yukata. "Himura-san, what do you make of it?" 

The red-headed man touched the strange thing and pried it off. "Iie, I don't know…" It was yellow, and had two dots horizontal to each other with a curved line underneath. "I believe it's what is called a… smiley face." 

"A smiley face?" 

"Yes. From what Sanosuke tells me, it's the standard kanji for happiness in this country." 

"Ah…" Soujiro pulled the sticker off its place on his yukata. "It's always smiling… kinda like me. Ne, Himura-san?" 

The rurouni smiled. "Something like that." He looked down the brightly lit aisles down at the food section. "Let's meet right here…" Kenshin looked for some kind of monument, "…right here next to the…" He squinted. "The Gillette woman's shavers stand. Goodbye, Soujiro…" 

***** 

"Why are you always smiling?" Soujiro had taken up to talking on of the smiling faces he encountered. This particular one was wearing a black mask and was holding a sword. How the face managed to grasp the sword without any arms or anything connected to his body eluded him. "After all, don't you have hardships in your life too?" 

Nothing. 

"Well, it's not healthy to be happy all the time, you know." 

Nothing. 

"You seem like a cheerful person…" 

Nothing. 

"That's ok if you don't want to answer me…" 

This was a steely one. Under close scrutiny, the face didn't crack. 

"…after all, who wants to talk to someone like me?" 

Nothing. 

"I'm just a nobody to you, aren't I?" 

Still no answer. 

"You have better people to talk to other than me?" A passing woman pushing a grocery cart looked at the young man yelling at no one, but decided that it was best to leave a lunatic to themselves. 

Soujiro was feeling himself get out of control. He fingered his sword hilt and gave the face one last time to answer. "Smiley face-san, I believe we got off on the wrong foot. Your life could be so much more complete if you would start talking to people instead of just thinking you're higher than everyone else." 

"You have a sword, we'll see how well you can use it…" 

***** 

"Mmm, there's so many different things I can do with this!" Kenshin picked up a jar of peanut butter and put it in his cart. "Kaoru-dono isn't going to be happy about the fat content though…" His sixth sense signaled something fast was coming towards him. Very fast. If someone had decided to attack the local Wal-mart, there would only be innocent people injured. Had someone tipped off that Battousai was here? That person was very smart, they had a potential for numerous hostages. 

He looked down the aisle and saw someone, or something, whoosh past. There was no screams of terror, it was very possible that his victims didn't have time to scream. But judging from everyone's calm and disposed manner, nothing out of the ordinary seemed to have happened. After all, he had never been in this place before, it was probably just what they call a "mechanical price checker." Kenshin shrugged, and continued shopping for groceries. 

***** 

"So did you find what you were looking for Himura-san?" 

Kenshin looked up from the road long enough to smile at Soujiro. "It was actually more helpful than I had first imagined…" 

"And on the lighter side of the news today, the local Wal-mart on Air Hill Road was just attacked by a mysterious case of vandalism…" 

"Vandalism?" Kenshin turned and looked dumbfounded at his passenger. "Wasn't that the one we were just at?" 

"Upon further inspection…" the announcer tried to suppress a laugh. "…it seems that every single of those infamous "smiley-faces" has been slashed beyond recognition. Several eyewitness report a sudden gust of wind, then seeing the paper with the face on it shred into pieces… 

A second person's voice could be heard, snickering. "The speed at which this was done is remarkable… although there were people in the store, no one was injured." Papers were being shuffled, "Right… among other news…" 

Kenshin switched the radio off while the two assassins rode in silence. "So… I picked up some peanut butter and some laundry detergent, along with a couple of other things. Very helpful _de gozaru_." 

Soujiro just nodded and smiled. "Yes. Very helpful indeed."


End file.
